I Know God Exists Because You Do, Babe

bhebhe and i just had a fight.. i just thought that you would love the dress i wore today.. i was thinking before on how you would be proud of me and i was just trying to impress you more.. but i was wrong.. and i know you’re only after on my safety since i am working on a graveyard shift and i have to commute all alone without you to protect me… anyway all things are said and done.. i just have to be more careful next time.. i love you baby.. muuaaahhhh!!!

Continued here:

Hello, my bhebhe.

You screamed at me so loud just a few hours ago. The cartilage in my ears seemed to curl up inside my head as your reddened head was all up in my face and shouting at me nonstop for hours, listing for me in agonizing detail the multitude of reasons (the dress referred to above being the latest one) for my being the dumb slut that I truly am. I was still wearing the dress: shiny and black, cut extremely short with tiny greenish stars printed all around, dark cloth conspicuously tight across my ample bosom and hip areas. Do you remember the cute frayed ends at the hem and how they brushed gently as I walked, making me shiver with cold delight as they tickled my thighs― my thighs that remember your touch and ache for it then until now. My tongue peeking shyly from the inside of their lustrous red prison, showing only the slightest tip of pink as if it were scared of you too.

Are you angry at me, bhebhe? Your dear beloved bhebhe? Your mouth and tongue say  Yes I am mad at you but only I can see that your heart is true and loves me so very much― crying psychically as you hold forth, labeling me a dumb whore who needs to a serious slapping to learn the littlest fucking thing. I see what lies deepest in your heart. You love me; and are only testing me by calling me all these horrible names. I will pass your test with flying colors, my bhebhe!

I thought you would never stop with that diatribe, bhebhe. But you did, eventually― and if I forgot to thank you for your loving courtesy before, let me thank you now. And let me say just how sorry I am. It is all my fault. Stupid bhebhe, stupid bhebhe― I can’t believe I actually thought wearing something that strayed from my usual plain look and made me feel good about myself for the first time since meeting you in that TV chatroom would make you happy! I only wanted to impress you. Maybe see that thing you call your jaw plop down and bathe in the lovely sounds of skin scraping against the unpolished concrete that serves as our floor. But you hated it.

I see now how right you are, bhebhe. As I stated earlier, I work ‘on the graveyard shift.’ How dare I try to assert my femininity and wear a dress that makes me feel beautiful inside and out, when there are men who would no doubt think awful and dirty thoughts about me as I walk past them! And can you imagine― what if a strong gust of wind blew up my skirt and everyone got a clear view of what can only be yours bhebhe! Any man would probably go crazy and rape me right then and there! And not one person would help me. They would probably all just stand there and watch and think that by my wearing of a pretty dress (now being torn to bits), I really wanted to get raped all along. It makes perfect sense: me paying actual money for a nice dress so I would get raped. You saw right through me and my motivations, bhebhe! That’s why you are my bhebhe! (Muuaaahhhh!!!)

I was so stupid wearing whatever made me feel good without once thinking of how a man would view me. You are right: I should continue wearing my drab sleeveless shirts instead. That will show those men! Now it would be impossible for them to think up sex fantasies about me! Thank God for you, bhebhe. I was this close to going out in that dress and inevitably getting raped by construction workers! It’s a good thing you came up and projected your self-esteem issues on me. We both don’t want, of course, people to think that I’m some liberal woman who does things simply because she wants to do them. No, no, no― it doesn’t even matter that when we are at home without your parents, you treat me like a gymnast monkey trying out for the Olympics. What matters is the opinion of strangers!

Bhebhe, I thank God everyday. The instant I wake up, I drop down on my knees and praise His Holy Name for giving such a dumb, shiftless whore such as myself a man who will ‘protect’ me from monsters that only he sees. How can I have been so lucky, I’ve asked myself millions of times now. I really don’t know! But what I do know is that I am very glad that you are always there for me! And that’s all I need to know in this life.

I love you pOh sO mUcH, mAh bHebHe kOh…!!! (Know how much I love you? I misspelled ‘baby’ just for you!)